Relation-shop: Finders and Keepers In 2012

It’s the beginning of the year and new year’s resolutions are in fashion.  I know that “finding a man” is usually on top of the list for a lot of single ladies, well keeping the man should also be on top of the list for ladies who are taken!!  What good is it to find your “Mr. Right” if you’re clueless on how to keep him?!  Below are a few guidelines and tips on attracting the appropriate guy and making the relationship last.


Who Are You?

Fundamentally, the truth about who you are and knowing it will guide you in meeting the right person for you.  Unfortunately, a lot of women do not know who they really are and live with a misconception of their true personality. Ironically, some who are aware choose not to accept it, confront it, or change it if it is undesirable.  Being honest with yourself about how you feel in different situations is critical.  Essentially, keeping it real with yourself makes it clear for others on who you are as a person and how to treat you.  When you know who you are, you know what you want as opposed to what you think you want!

Don’t Judge a Book by Its Cover

Prior to our maturity as adults we tend to categorize the opposite sex and typecast them, convincing ourselves that only certain individuals will fit into our dating pool.  However, this often leads to judging a book by its cover and never giving worthy individuals the chance to prove your preconceived notions wrong.  Endeavor to read pages of the book (person) before coming to a defining conclusion about the person as an individual as opposed to stereotyping them into a group.  Broaden your horizon, be more flexible, take more chances, relax your mind and lower your ego in order to maximize your opportunities.  A pleasant surprise might be waiting to happen!

Don’t be a Couch Potato

This one is for the homebodies!  My mother in law, whom I love, is single and has been single for over 15 years, she is a chronic homebody but she is in love with George Clooney... well all I have to say is George Clooney hasn’t come knocking on her door yet.  As much as you might love lounging in your couch with your comforter and snack watching TV, having a social life that takes you outdoor is necessary in meeting new people.  Leave your comfort zone and get out more often than not, am not suggesting you become a regular at the club however, find different outdoor activities to expose yourself too.

The Truth Shall Set You Free

We’ve all heard the phrase “the truth shall set you free” but we never really process the meaning and apply it in our lives to make it countA lot of women who are single feel the need to impress a guy so much that they end up fabricating an image of themselves.  Make effort to stay true to who you are instead of going ways out of your way to please a guy you just met as a tactic to wheel him in.  At the end of the day, you either look like you are trying too hard which equals desperation and that drives him away or you fool him into believing this is the real you and the relationship starts but ends very soon after, once he realizes the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde effect.  This rule applies to both behavior and physical appearance (if you know what I mean).

Keep Quiet Sometimes

Seriously ladies I can’t emphasize this one enough!   The reoccurring theme from all my girls that I know are single is that they talk too much and this is from my observation as well as others, and most importantly the opinion of multiple guys who they’ve attempted to date.  Yes, don’t be a mute but please check yourself from time to time and let your date get a word in before you unnecessarily tell him your entire life story!  No worries, there will be plenty of time to spill your gut (if you can just stop talking and make it to the second date); take baby steps and try to listen while being silent!

Put Your Best Foot Forward

When you feel good about yourself it shows and it attractively shines through to others, this is what enables you the exude confidence!  That been said, getting your mind, body, and soul intact and in good shape is vital in order to be prepared for a relationship.  If you know you are crazy, go and see a psychiatrist; if you say you are fat (and it is hindering you from being completely comfortable with yourself in front of others), visit a gym and change your lifestyle by eating healthier and exercising regularly; if you feel troubled by your past, pinpoint the issue and resolve it before dragging another human being into your drama.  Most levelheaded individuals appreciate being around people in good spirit and it is like a breath of fresh air, we all need it.  Laughter is contagious and joy is magnetic, so find the happiness you need before you can be happy with someone.

Do Your Job

Last but not the least, a relationship is a responsibility!  Yes, it is like a job at times, like a plant, like a home, like anything you have to pay attention to, maintain, and up keep.  You must make effort to be present not just physically but mentally and emotionally for your partner.  Having to nurture it and replenish it with constant love is a necessity.  Learn what your partner likes and love to do it periodically.  The relationship has to evolve so that it doesn’t wither; the person you were at the beginning of the relationship in terms of your standing in life shouldn’t be the same years after.  Hopefully, you grow with your partner and not grow apart and to achieve this level of connectivity, you have to share goals and aspirations with your partner.

  1. Crystal

    Great read!


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