The Four “C’s” of Relationships


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Eddie Murphy is on the fast track. Not so much for demand of his legendary comedic prowess, but because of his infamous two-week marriage to Tracey Edmonds (trumped by Robin Givens & Svetozar Marinkovic's 24-hour marriage). Clearly nuptial remorse to the nth degree. So exactly why do couples choose to jump ship before they have even set sail in matrimonial waters?

Irreconcilable differences can easily be translated into, "I thought it was a good idea at the time"...
Recent weddings of celebrities are just as guilty of disposable marriages, untying knots quicker than the most skilled Boy Scout.

Don't think short-term marriages are immune to the rich and famous; I know of a girl whose military boyfriend proposed to her when she announced they were expecting. Being a man of honor, he wanted to raise his child within a family unit, so the wedding date was set, the house in Texas was purchased and wedding invitations were sent out.

Until he counted back and realized that his tour of duty had him away from her the month she conceived. One year after her mother spent $10,000 of her life savings on the wedding, the bride was sent packing back to her mother, freshly divorced.

Pregnancy trap aside, extenuating circumstances that may be cause for ending a marriage would be imbalanced money habits, secrets and substance-induced lifestyles, which all fall under the area of lack of communication.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, Survey of Income and Program Participation (SIPP), Median Duration of Marriages (2004 data), the average length of first marriages for couples which end up in divorce is eight years. I've got jeans older than that.

Premarital counseling is always a good idea, and in most cases, will bring to light what the two of  you choose to overlook. But what all women have within their grasp is a free and yet mostly underused asset; our instinct. If it doesn't look right, sound right or makes that little voice inside go hmmm -  Listen to it! The truth hurts, but a divorce cuts you to the core.

Don't rush love. If it took a lifetime to find your soul mate, you can surely spend some additional time to get to know him before you walk down the aisle. Talk to him, ask questions, and for heaven's sake, know his middle name!

It would be great if brides-to-be put less emphasis on their diamond's four C's and more on the relationship's: Communication, Clarification, Counseling, Christ.  And definitely not in that order...

Keep it real at the beginning, because jumping into a marriage without knowing your spouse is like saying it'll all come out in the wash, then realizing neither one of you is willing to do the laundry.

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